Universal "Check Engine" Light Fix... - Defender Source
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  #1  
Old July 12th, 2011, 01:33 PM
HMB_Defender
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Kevin Judice
'95 D90 SW Coniston Green
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Universal "Check Engine" Light Fix...

Dear Friends,

This seems to be a common complaint on the boards and, although I am a newcomer, I would like to offer my patent-pending, hillbilly-simple, EXTREMELY cost-effective solution to the problem, the likes of which I have never seen posted here, and which I trust will save many of you a great deal of time and money in the future.

Yours,
KJ


Step 1: Recognize that CEL is on; it's the orange light, just under the speedometer, if you're curious.

Step 2: Wonder why CEL is on. [Note: This step is optional. You can, if you choose, skip directly to step 4 and proceed from there, with identical results.]

Step 3: Realize that (a) your cats are shot, (b) O2 sensors are shot, (c) your plenum leaks like a sieve, (d) compression on cylinder 8 is about 125, not 170, and (e) your fuel pump is staggering toward the grave.

Step 4: Go to Wal Mart and buy a $0.79 Phillips Head Screwdriver.

Step 5: Remove panel covering CEL display.

Step 6: Remove the pesky bulb *behind* the CEL display.

Step 7: Replace panel.

Step 8: Promptly sell the vehicle to a rube--someone like me, for example--over the internet, who will then spend a good deal of time wondering why all kinds of things seem not quite right with the truck but the CEL is not on.

Step 9: Spend the money you collected from said rube and laugh until you puke. For added amusement value, you can build a little glass shrine for the Phillips Head Screwdriver, and maybe set up a little reflecting pool, or one of those miniature Japanese Zen sand gardens, in front of it.
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  #2  
Old July 12th, 2011, 01:41 PM
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tjfslaughter
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thomas
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HMB_Defender View Post
Dear Friends,

This seems to be a common complaint on the boards and, although I am a newcomer, I would like to offer my patent-pending, hillbilly-simple, EXTREMELY cost-effective solution to the problem, the likes of which I have never seen posted here, and which I trust will save many of you a great deal of time and money in the future.

Yours,
KJ


Step 1: Recognize that CEL is on; it's the orange light, just under the speedometer, if you're curious.

Step 2: Wonder why CEL is on. [Note: This step is optional. You can, if you choose, skip directly to step 4 and proceed from there, with identical results.]

Step 3: Realize that (a) your cats are shot, (b) O2 sensors are shot, (c) your plenum leaks like a sieve, (d) compression on cylinder 8 is about 125, not 170, and (e) your fuel pump is staggering toward the grave.

Step 4: Go to Wal Mart and buy a $0.79 Phillips Head Screwdriver.

Step 5: Remove panel covering CEL display.

Step 6: Remove the pesky bulb *behind* the CEL display.

Step 7: Replace panel.

Step 8: Promptly sell the vehicle to a rube--someone like me, for example--over the internet, who will then spend a good deal of time wondering why all kinds of things seem not quite right with the truck but the CEL is not on.

Step 9: Spend the money you collected from said rube and laugh until you puke. For added amusement value, you can build a little glass shrine for the Phillips Head Screwdriver, and maybe set up a little reflecting pool, or one of those miniature Japanese Zen sand gardens, in front of it.

Nice.
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  #3  
Old July 12th, 2011, 02:06 PM
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Nick Vogel
1997 D-90 / 2012 LR4
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Not sure what action you have (if any).... but in Texas its a felony to sell a vehicle with a MIL light on.
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  #4  
Old July 12th, 2011, 02:13 PM
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tjfslaughter
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thomas
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 97-D90-736 View Post
Not sure what action you have (if any).... but in Texas its a felony to sell a vehicle with a MIL light on.

Texas is awesome in so many regards. Makes me think about that song "Texas Women" from Alan Jackson... Hopefully this guy will be able to drop the hammer on the person who sold it to him.
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  #5  
Old July 12th, 2011, 02:20 PM
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Joshua
1995 Black ST - Rhinolined edition
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So, both the light in the dash and on the readout under the passenger seat (or wherever your readout is located) were removed?

Who did you buy it from on eBay so that we know to stay away from aforementioned seller?
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  #6  
Old July 12th, 2011, 02:22 PM
The Dro
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Dro
1988 Ninety
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HMB_Defender View Post
Dear Friends,

This seems to be a common complaint on the boards and, although I am a newcomer, I would like to offer my patent-pending, hillbilly-simple, EXTREMELY cost-effective solution to the problem, the likes of which I have never seen posted here, and which I trust will save many of you a great deal of time and money in the future.

Yours,
KJ


Step 1: Recognize that CEL is on; it's the orange light, just under the speedometer, if you're curious.

Step 2: Wonder why CEL is on. [Note: This step is optional. You can, if you choose, skip directly to step 4 and proceed from there, with identical results.]

Step 3: Realize that (a) your cats are shot, (b) O2 sensors are shot, (c) your plenum leaks like a sieve, (d) compression on cylinder 8 is about 125, not 170, and (e) your fuel pump is staggering toward the grave.

Step 4: Go to Wal Mart and buy a $0.79 Phillips Head Screwdriver.

Step 5: Remove panel covering CEL display.

Step 6: Remove the pesky bulb *behind* the CEL display.

Step 7: Replace panel.

Step 8: Promptly sell the vehicle to a rube--someone like me, for example--over the internet, who will then spend a good deal of time wondering why all kinds of things seem not quite right with the truck but the CEL is not on.

Step 9: Spend the money you collected from said rube and laugh until you puke. For added amusement value, you can build a little glass shrine for the Phillips Head Screwdriver, and maybe set up a little reflecting pool, or one of those miniature Japanese Zen sand gardens, in front of it.
The infamous Step 6.
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  #7  
Old July 12th, 2011, 05:37 PM
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Ethan
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...which is why you check for proper MIL lamp operation when you first twist the key.

Ouch. Sorry for your experience!
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  #8  
Old July 12th, 2011, 05:43 PM
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kevin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Turbofan View Post
...which is why you check for proper MIL lamp operation when you first twist the key.
That's actually pretty easy to get around if one is of low character and mechanically inclined
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  #9  
Old July 12th, 2011, 06:15 PM
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Be a rube and not notice the CEL does not illuminate on self-check at start up. Honestly, I bet two new 02 sensors will remedy the CEL.

Cats shot, plenum leaking and less than ideal compression are standard for defenders.
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  #10  
Old July 12th, 2011, 06:44 PM
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Kevin Judice
'95 D90 SW Coniston Green
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Cats shot, plenum leaking and less than ideal compression are standard for defenders.[/QUOTE]

LOL! Will replace the sensors...may need the cats to pass California emissions, though--they tend to be a little finicky out here.

Cheers,
KJ
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  #11  
Old July 12th, 2011, 07:57 PM
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joe heins
1995 defender 90
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I obviously did not get the memo on how to sell a d-90, had mine up for sale when that light came on, I put it in the shop where it has been for 5 days as they run the wires looking for the problem, silly me, should have just pulled the bulb and sold it!
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  #12  
Old July 12th, 2011, 11:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HMB_Defender View Post
Cats shot, plenum leaking and less than ideal compression are standard for defenders.
LOL! Will replace the sensors...may need the cats to pass California emissions, though--they tend to be a little finicky out here.

Cheers,
KJ[/QUOTE]

They don't do a four wheel rolling road test do they? If not, defenders run pretty chean and will likely pass even if the cats are on the way out as long as they are in reasonably decent tune, fresh oil etc.
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  #13  
Old July 13th, 2011, 03:21 PM
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Hans Haase
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Quote:
Originally Posted by evilfij View Post
LOL! Will replace the sensors...may need the cats to pass California emissions, though--they tend to be a little finicky out here.

Cheers,
KJ
They don't do a four wheel rolling road test do they? If not, defenders run pretty chean and will likely pass even if the cats are on the way out as long as they are in reasonably decent tune, fresh oil etc.[/QUOTE]

That's assuming there's anything even IN the cats.

Don't feel too bad though, I can one-up that story for you.

My truck originally came from a local used lot at a Nissan dealership, good inspection and CEL working properly. A year later, won't even come close to passing the emissions tests. Spent months and piles of money trying to figure it out, until my mechanic finally spots the weld seams on the cats. Turns out they were cut open, gutted, and welded shut again. Probably by a previous owner, but the dealership would have had to do a fraudulent inspection on it at the point of selling it to me.

No qualms with naming names either.... Amityville Nissan here in New York.

-Hans
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  #14  
Old July 15th, 2011, 05:00 PM
HMB_Defender
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Kevin Judice
'95 D90 SW Coniston Green
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rijosho View Post
Who did you buy it from on eBay so that we know to stay away from aforementioned seller?
The truck was actually listed here, by another forum member, and was also listed by a dealer, apparently acting as an informal broker for the individual. Since I am a newcomer to both this site in particular and the Defender world in general, I have been attempting to let the people involved do the right thing, in hopes of avoiding what might be considered whiny or troll-like behavior.

So far that has not been a fruitful exercise. Apparently there is a thief at large in the greater Nashville area, armed with a screwdriver and ill intent, who is stealing CEL bulbs from Defenders.

Caveat emptor.
KJ
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