Please teach me about football - $500 - Defender Source
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  #1  
Old January 27th, 2012, 09:34 AM
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Please teach me about football - $500

Not mine.

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/wan/2819375663.html

Please teach me about football!!! - $500

Date: 2012-01-26, 1:47PM EST
Reply to: sale-qh5rn-2819375663@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


I *desperately* need to learn about football between now and next week's Super Bowl game. Preferably from someone who was a quarterback in college or the pros, but at the very least someone who knows a lot about quarterbacks.

My girlfriend and I were just invited to a Super Bowl party at her ex-boyfriend's apartment, and to be honest, last time I met him he told me he played football in college and I responded that I did as well --which was a lie.

I don't know why I lied, I guess I just panicked and wanted to impress my girlfriend. Anyway. He asked me what position I played and I told him I played quarterback because that was really the only position I'd heard of.

I really don't know anything about football except for the fact that touchdowns how you score points and sometimes you kick the ball. I've been reading articles on ESPN.com and watching clips online but I don't think it's going to prepare me for questions about actually playing it, or for making good comments during the game. So I need someone who can *quickly* teach me about all of things I would have learned playing football as well as what to say about it.

This person MUST be available each day between now and the Super Bowl game (February 5, 2012), some time between 7-9pm on weekdays or afternoons on Saturday.

This is really important to me. I think my girlfriend still really likes her ex and when we first started dating she cheated on me a few times with him, so I really can't risk looking like an idiot in front of both of them.

Oh, also, her ex played "linebacker." Should I know a lot about playing "linebacker" too? Do quarterbacks normally know about that? I definitely will need to learn all the positions and what they do, but it might help for me to learn something from a "linebacker," if you know one.

Seriously, this is really important. My girlfriend and I are going through a bit of a rough patch now and she keeps threatening to move out. I'm afraid if I get caught lying about this our relationship is over.

I'm offering $500, but would be willing to go higher if you're an actual college or professional football quarterback, and would pay extra if you knew a linebacker you could bring along to teach me about his position.

And if you would be willing to text me good comments to say during the game, I'd to pay you an extra $100 for that. Maybe more if they're good comments.

Please contact me IMMEDIATELY via email if interested.

  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 2819375663
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  #2  
Old January 27th, 2012, 09:42 AM
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I'll teach him about football ... center forwards, goalies, strikers ... corner kicks ... headers ... he'll have no problems!

the awesome thing is that he believes compounding a lie with another lie is going to help his situation ...
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  #3  
Old January 27th, 2012, 09:51 AM
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That's an episode o the Big Bang Theory
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  #4  
Old January 27th, 2012, 09:59 AM
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Hahhahahaha
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  #5  
Old January 27th, 2012, 10:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tomaco1 View Post
That's an episode o the Big Bang Theory
My gf was just saying that, actually.
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  #6  
Old January 27th, 2012, 10:04 AM
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I can see it happening LOL

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  #7  
Old January 27th, 2012, 10:09 AM
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All they need to know is your Giants are going down... they can paypal me the 500 bucks after the game.
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  #8  
Old January 27th, 2012, 10:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phoenix37 View Post
All they need to know is your Giants are going down... they can paypal me the 500 bucks after the game.
Says the dude whose team is supported by 6 states! I wouldn't be surprised if Tom Brady was the one who actually wrote this craigslist ad.
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  #9  
Old January 27th, 2012, 12:02 PM
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haha...i live in a state with a population about the size of one of our city blocks! Im actually not all that confident. Considering we have have offensive players filling in on defense! When is the last time that happened in the NFL? What is this pop warner?!
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  #10  
Old January 27th, 2012, 02:32 PM
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go AC Milan!
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  #11  
Old January 27th, 2012, 07:41 PM
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Learning foosball is the least of this guy's problems.
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