Ten Commandments of LR ownership - Defender Source
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  #1  
Old March 23rd, 2015, 06:51 AM
budzny
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Ten Commandments of LR ownership

Ten Commandments of Land Rover Ownership
by Jay Chapman posted at Land Rover Owners
1) Thou shall not Bling Bling thy Rover. Ghettoizing or installing 20″ wheels, chrome wheels, or wheels with spinners is not allowed and is punishable by car crusher or forced sale on a shady used car lot.
2) Thou shall never leave thy fellow Rover behind. Failure to assist a disabled or God forbid stuck Rover shall be punishable by banishment from his or her club or by keel hauling thru the mud with thy pants down.
3) Thou shall not drink and drive. It is permissible to drive first then drink. Drinking while driving is a jeep thing.
4) Thou shall not modify thy Land Rover for only trips to the mall, grocery store or soccer practice. Failure to frequently drive off-road a modified Land Rover shall bring upon the Owner the title of “Mall Queen”
5) Thou shall not sacrifice thy Land Rover as a parts truck without a proper Christening by 12 year old bottle of Scotch. Failure to first “Take a swig” shall make void the first Christening and shall force the Owner to buy another 12 year old bottle of Scotch and try again.
6) Thou shall wave while passing other Land Rovers regardless of type or gender. Failure of the other Rover driver to return a friendly wave may result in the first waiver to point his or her middle finger instead.
7) Thou shall not use gas with an octane rating lower than 91. Smelly exhaust is a by product of Bad Gas. Rover owners who have Bad Gas must camp down wind of the camp site.
8) Thou shall not eat Egg Beaters for breakfast while on a Rover outing. Improper ingestion of Egg Beaters may contribute to smelly exhaust. “My eggs will break” is not a legitimate excuse as real Land Rover drivers don’t break their eggs while on the trail. Punishment for eating Egg Beaters is the forced drinking of warm Bud Lite for the remainder of the trip.
9) Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s rover. As a Land Rover Owner it is your responsibility to build a stronger more capable rover than thy neighbor’s rover with at least a roof rack, hella lights, after market bumper, lift kit, sliders, winch, bigger tires and stickers.
10) Thou shall not own more than 4 Land Rovers at any one time. Because the law of diminishing returns does not apply to Land Rover ownership, Rover Owners risk the law of bankruptcy or threat of divorce by spending all their time and money on maintenance and mods.
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  #2  
Old March 23rd, 2015, 08:07 AM
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Not bad, but #10 is a little off... I have four now and still need a series 1, a NAS 90, 110, and a FC to somewhat round out the collection.
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  #3  
Old March 23rd, 2015, 08:12 AM
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Love it!
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  #4  
Old March 23rd, 2015, 11:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by budzny View Post
Ten Commandments of Land Rover Ownership
by Jay Chapman posted at Land Rover Owners

6) Thou shall wave while passing other Land Rovers regardless of type or gender. Failure of the other Rover driver to return a friendly wave may result in the first waiver to point his or her middle finger instead.
I have long since realized that 90+% of disco, LR3, LR4, LR whatever and Range Rover owners can not recognize a Series Land Rover nor do they care to. Which is OK by me since I cannot recognize most of the new JLR products until they get close enough for me to easily read their labeling. To me they just look like any other brand of SUV. And once while parked a guy exited his Range Rover and on his way to the store commented "Nice Land Cruiser".

While I wave at Series and Defenders, I will not initiate a wave to the others.

Quote:
Originally Posted by budzny View Post
7) Thou shall not use gas with an octane rating lower than 91. Smelly exhaust is a by product of Bad Gas. Rover owners who have Bad Gas must camp down wind of the camp site.
Most Series trucks work just fine on regular. The rest run fine on diesel. For Series trucks high octane is just a waste of $$. It is those Buick V8s that need the 91.

I think if anything it is the diesel trucks that should be parking down wind.

Personally I never like to see either a Series truck or a Defender scrapped for parts. They are infinitely rebuildable.
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  #5  
Old March 23rd, 2015, 11:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TeriAnn View Post
I have long since realized that 90+% of disco, LR3, LR4, LR whatever and Range Rover owners can not recognize a Series Land Rover nor do they care to. .
Those models are not "Land Rovers"..... Land Rovers are model type, currently in the series 4 generation. and soon to come to an end.
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  #6  
Old March 23rd, 2015, 11:42 AM
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agree 100% that most drivers of late model land rovers have no idea a defender or series is a land rover.

But every defender owner/series truck gets the wave, because they are almost always waving at you hahaha.

I remember years ago when I had my sports bike Harley guys never waved, when they did I was always surprised
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  #7  
Old March 23rd, 2015, 11:49 AM
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He had me until #9. Every true Rover owner covets everyone elses Rover. You can never have enough. Land Rover ownership is a culture of vehicle infidelity.
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  #8  
Old March 23rd, 2015, 12:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Red90 View Post
Those models are not "Land Rovers"..... Land Rovers are model type, currently in the series 4 generation. and soon to come to an end.
I have convinced my wife of same and thus do not include the RR Sport leaving me room to purchase a black NAS 90 ST after I purchase wife's required Maserati convertible (she wants to own one car that will be in the shop as much as a Land Rover).
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  #9  
Old March 23rd, 2015, 12:44 PM
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Personally I never like to see either a Series truck or a Defender scrapped for parts. They are infinitely rebuildable.

http://youtu.be/IwosHjtC-Yc
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  #10  
Old March 23rd, 2015, 12:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlander View Post
He had me until #9. Every true Rover owner covets everyone elses Rover. You can never have enough. Land Rover ownership is a culture of vehicle infidelity.
You're beginning to sound like Shayne.
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  #11  
Old March 23rd, 2015, 01:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by roverguy View Post
Not bad, but #10 is a little off... I have four now and still need a series 1, a NAS 90, 110, and a FC to somewhat round out the collection.
Similarly, I like this list and will strive to live by it; however my need to own many many Rovers will force me to break #10
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  #12  
Old March 23rd, 2015, 01:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LuisC View Post
You're beginning to sound like Shayne.
not exactly. To be like shane it would have to be:

Every true Rover owner covets everyone elses PARTS.

OR

Every true Rover owner covets ANY Camel Trophy related vehicle, part or merchandising.
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  #13  
Old March 23rd, 2015, 03:10 PM
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All of a sudden, I don't feel so bad about wanting another defender.
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  #14  
Old March 23rd, 2015, 04:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlander View Post
He had me until #9. Every true Rover owner covets everyone elses Rover. You can never have enough. Land Rover ownership is a culture of vehicle infidelity.
Of well. Guess I'm not a "true Rover owner". I've only had one Land Rover during the last 37 years and with the exception of a Tickford really don't want another LR.

I'm happy with the one I have to the point that if someone gave me another I would probably just turn around and sell it.


No Coveting here ... unless of course you have a nice Tickford sitting about.
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  #15  
Old March 23rd, 2015, 05:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Overlander View Post
He had me until #9. 99.9% of all true Rover owners covet everyone elses Rover. You can never have enough. Land Rover ownership is a culture of vehicle infidelity.

Fixed it!
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  #16  
Old March 23rd, 2015, 07:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by budzny View Post
Personally I never like to see either a Series truck or a Defender scrapped for parts. They are infinitely rebuildable.

http://youtu.be/IwosHjtC-Yc

I agree 100%... it can be fixed and someone else may want it. I don't covet either... I will admire sometimes though...
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