Stolen Trek in Boston MA - Defender Source
Defender Source  

Go Back   Defender Source > Non-Technical Discussions > Misc. Chit-Chat

Join the Defender Source Community Today

Thread Tools
Old June 28th, 2012, 10:49 AM
nathanwind's Avatar
Status: Offline
Jason Lavender
D-90 Source Vendor
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Alexandria VA/Bolton NY
Posts: 8,354
Stolen Trek in Boston MA

This is a buddy of mine...someone nicked his Trek bike in broad daylight. Anyone in the Boston area that spots it, there is a hefty (and original) reward offered.

At the very least, it's an entertaining read:

$300 REWARD - Stolen Trek 520 from BU (St Mary's) on Tuesday btw 4-8 - $300 (St. Mary's Street Parking Meter )

Date: 2012-06-28, 8:22AM EDT
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]

Some motherf#cker stole my 2007 25'' black Trek 520 (touring bike with rear rack) on Tuesday 5/26 from a bike rack attached to a parking meter in front of 15 St. Mary's classroom building at Boston University (right across the street from the entrance to the Photonics building). It was stolen between 4:15 and 8PM in broad daylight. The thick cable lock was cut - which most likely required a set of bolt cutters or some other tool that was big enough to be noticed. It happened exactly halfway between the pink food truck and the door to 15 St. Mary's on the west side of the street. Below is a stock pic from Trek. My bike looks very similar except it has a 48-spoke rear wheel.

I just want my bike back. I completely rely on it for my everyday transportation and it has a ton of sentimental value. It's been passed on from generation to generation in my family for almost 3,000 years.
I'd really like to give it to my son some day. And even though I don't have a son, I'm sure he'd like to give it to his son at some point as well.

In all seriousness, I'll give you $300 cash if you can produce my bike or give me information that allows me to recover it. I don't care who you are, how you know where it is, why you know where it is, etc. Even if you are the thief I'll reward you for your brazen act on a busy street in broad daylight.

Should the thief not come forward, I'll offer anyone else $250 for each of his testicles. $500 max bonus. Unless he has 3. Note: You must present them in a tuxedo on a silver platter with one of those fancy domed covers (see below pic).

If the bike goes unreturned, the consequences will be as follows: I will pay Clubber Lang, Bobba Fett, and Hacksaw Jim Duggan to have a 3 way - which will produce a son that I'll name 'Justice'. I'll then send the boy to the Royce Gracie school of Jiu-Jitsu submission tactics. And on his 18th birthday, he and I will come to your house and fuck your shit up.

Thank you for your time.

***update*** My friend has offered to show her boobs to anyone who finds my bike. So now it's $300 AND boobs (plus an optional $500 for the gonads). Or, alternatively, the mystery thief will have their ass kicked in 2030 by myself and Justice.

disclaimer: much of this content was shamelessly poached from a victim much more capable of channeling their anger into humor (as opposed to my obsessive dreaming about cutting off the toes of the bike thief with his own bolt cutters)
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	5I45P15Ma3Ma3I23Nec6s43072650a994170e.jpg
Views:	41
Size:	37.5 KB
ID:	53629  
Attached Images

Jason Lavender
'71 Series IIA
'88 127 #F96 DKN
'94 90 NAS #324
'06 LR3 HSE
(10% discount for DSource members, use coupon code "D90")
SDO Instagram
SDO Facebook
Reply With Quote
Old June 28th, 2012, 10:55 AM
The Dro's Avatar
The Dro
Status: Offline
1988 Ninety
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Annandale, VA
Posts: 6,336
That sucks...

The add is hilarious

Reply With Quote
Old June 28th, 2012, 11:16 AM
bjf's Avatar
Status: Offline
barry f
94 ST #395
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: los angeles
Posts: 10,472
Well written. The bike is gay though. Better off without it.
Originally Posted by DefenderPilot View Post
Are there shocks that I can addjust up and down like my friends LX460? That would be very cool!
Reply With Quote
Old June 28th, 2012, 11:23 AM
rijosho's Avatar
Status: Offline
1995 Black ST - Rhinolined edition
Research Assistant/Eagle Eyes
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: NYC
Posts: 16,595
Casey Neistat (local filmmaker) made a funny video a while back showing how no one reacted or intervened to even the most obvious bike thefts - even in front of a Police station!

Originally Posted by bjf View Post
I am talking purely from an aesthetics standpoint.
Reply With Quote
Old June 28th, 2012, 03:49 PM
down_shift's Avatar
Status: Offline
94' D90 ST & 06' LR3
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Leesburg, VA
Posts: 3,756
Originally Posted by rijosho
Casey Neistat (local filmmaker) made a funny video a while back showing how no one reacted or intervened to even the most obvious bike thefts - even in front of a Police station!

Thinking that is the guy who made that sweat Nike commercial, traveling around the globe until his funds dried out. Very creative. Kudos to him.
Reply With Quote

Lower Navigation
Go Back   Defender Source > Non-Technical Discussions > Misc. Chit-Chat

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
May need transport from Wayne, NJ to Boston, MA artm Misc. Chit-Chat 1 January 25th, 2012 05:26 PM
Original 2003 Trek Competion Discovery TD5 Auto, LHD. Trek Jon For Sale - Vehicles 11 August 30th, 2005 05:35 PM
Best Route during Summer from Boston to Virginia 1of40 Defender Technical Discussions 5 June 16th, 2005 02:40 PM
5 33x12.5x 15s BFG MTs on trek outfitters steel wheels draaronr For Sale - Parts 4 June 9th, 2005 08:06 PM
GPS Question (mine got stolen..) norros Misc. Chit-Chat 17 May 17th, 2004 06:26 PM

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:16 AM.