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  #1  
Old January 2nd, 2008, 03:23 PM
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pmd
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Paul Dandini
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POLITICAL SCIENCE & ECONOMICS FOR DUMMIES

POLITICAL SCIENCE & ECONOMICS FOR DUMMIES

(A.K.A. You'll be milking this one for a while...)



DEMOCRAT



You have two cows.

Your neighbor has none.

You feel guilty for being successful.



REPUBLICAN



You have two cows.

Your neighbor has none.

So?



SOCIALIST



You have two cows.

The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

You form a cooperative and tell him how to manage his cow.



COMMUNIST



You have two cows.

The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

You wait in line for hours to get it.

It is expensive and sour.



CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE



You have two cows.

You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.



BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE



You have two cows.

Under the new farm program,

the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other,

and then it pours the milk down the drain.



AMERICAN CORPORATION



You have two cows.

You sell one, lease it back to yourself,

and do an IPO on the 2nd one.

You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.

You are surprised when one cow drops dead.

You spin an announcement to analysts

stating that you have downsized and are reducing expenses.

Your stock goes up.



FRENCH CORPORATION



You have two cows.

You go on strike because you want three cows.

You go to lunch and drink wine.

Life is good.



JAPANESE CORPORATION



You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size

of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.

Most are at the top of their class at cow school.



GERMAN CORPORATION



You have two cows.

You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer,

give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.

Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.



ITALIAN CORPORATION



You have two cows.

Yet you don't know where they are.

While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.

You break for lunch.

Life is good.



RUSSIAN CORPORATION



You have two cows.

You have some vodka.

You count them and learn you have five cows.

You have some more vodka.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

The Mafia shows up and takes over

how many cows you really have.



TALIBAN CORPORATION



You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.

You don't milk them, because you cannot touch

any creature's private parts.

You get a $40 million grant from the US government

to find alternatives to milk production

but use the money to buy weapons.



IRAQI CORPORATION



You have two cows.

They go into hiding.

They send radio tapes of their mooing.



POLISH CORPORATION



You have two bulls.

Employees are regularly maimed and killed

attempting to milk them.



BELGIAN CORPORATION



You have one cow.

The cow is schizophrenic.

Sometimes the cow thinks he's French,

other times he's Flemish.

The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.

The French cow wants control

of the Flemish cow's milk.

The cow asks permission to be cut in half.

The cow dies happy.



FLORIDA CORPORATION



You have a black cow and a brown cow.

Everyone votes for the best looking one.

Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally
vote for the black one.

Some people vote for both.

Some people vote for neither.

Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.

Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state

tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.



CALIFORNIA CORPORATION



You have millions of cows.

They make real California cheese.

Only five speak English.

Most are illegal.

Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
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  #2  
Old January 3rd, 2008, 02:17 PM
Dredd
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Harlan Boone
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As funny as this is, do we really want this (Land Rover) site going the way of Discoweb with all the politics? I can hardly even visit that site anymore because I have to wade through all that crap to get to the Rover content that I originally logged on to read.

Please, I love this site.

HB
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  #3  
Old January 3rd, 2008, 02:47 PM
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pmd
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Paul Dandini
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dredd
As funny as this is, do we really want this (Land Rover) site going the way of Discoweb with all the politics? I can hardly even visit that site anymore because I have to wade through all that crap to get to the Rover content that I originally logged on to read.

Please, I love this site.

HB
Dredd,
I can hardly see how this "Humor" post could lead to a heeded political debate - it clearly was not my intention.

There are several forums that I too do not visit anymore due to the nature of it's members responses.

I feel that the folks here at the D90 Source are a little more refined in their replys - which is a good thing.

This post was posted under::

Misc. Chit-Chat
"Have something else you want to talk about? Post away here!"

I assumed "Humor" was ok - If the administrators want only Rover related topics then please delete.
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  #4  
Old January 3rd, 2008, 03:15 PM
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Overlander
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mark kellgren
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That was freakin funny. And I never expect any rover content in this folder.
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  #5  
Old January 3rd, 2008, 03:59 PM
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themaxx
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Ade
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I thought it was a great way to explain what the different political parties stand for in a satire format.


NIGERIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
Send out false emails to everyone else claiming you've inherited a 100 cows.
Request that they send you their 25 cows and shortly after you'll send them 75 cows.
Now you've lied and cheated people out of cows.
Thus pissing off the rest of the world and no one wants to do business with you.

ALABAMA CORPORATION

You have two sheep.
You want to breed them to have more sheep.
After screwing them over a 100x you find out they are male sheep.
You don't stop screwing them.
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  #6  
Old January 4th, 2008, 01:37 AM
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Jim Cheney
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If you speak 3 languages, you are trilingual.
If you speak 2 languages, you are bilingual.
If you speak 1 language, you are American.
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