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  #1  
Old November 21st, 2014, 09:50 PM
atlcruiser
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david
many
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Need suggestions....

Hi All....

I have been pimping tons of stuff and need to pimp more. Thought I could do some free pimping of stuff as a bit of payback and to have some fun

So.... I ordered 27 Defender door handles from my UK supplier; 13 of one side and 14 of the other.

My order took almost two weeks to fulfill as some parts were out of stock. Once I got the order in I could not quite understand why I had two pallets. As I unpacked I saw a giant issue. My 27 door handle sets became 270; 135 of each side. I single handedly bought out almost all of the UK stock of Defender door handles.

I also could not return them.


Bringing us to today..... I have almost all of said handles (minus about 30) left. If I were to install new handles on every Defender that ever rolls into the shop until I retire I would still have door handles left over to leave in my estate (better than nothing)

I wish to give these away. I am also bored as my life revolves around Defenders and Cruisers all broken and all behind schedule.

We need a very simple contest. Maybe along the lines of a Haiku homage to a Land Rover thing???? Easy to do yet requires a greater than third grade education.

This stipulation also will prevent any of my employees from being eligible to compete.

We need two judges. I nominated one and he just said yes. Once he reads this he will know what he said yes to.

Can the group nominate another judge? Judges automatically win two handles You can not nominate yourself or anyone who you have been sexually intimate with in EITHER thought or deed.

I see this as being fully PC...no one should not feel they are a winner as their feelings would be hurt and they would go start a chapter of the LRLGBT...not good....not that there is anything wrong with that lifestyle mind you... you enter and you win door handles

Lets decide on the entry criteria. Judge one, and the soon to be nominated Judge 2, can make the decision based on my Haiku suggestion or any other thing that floats their boat and/or is suggested in this thread. As the man behind the curtain my only real suggestion would be to limit the rules.... very limited rules....

I will toss in 25 sets of handles and ship to winners @ NC. If we get more than 25 entries I will toss in more handles......

There will be a grand prize, yet to be determined, where all of the winners will be stuck into a poll and we vote for the best winner of all winners; again, all are winners.... no bullying allowed.

This should start as soon as the judges make a decision. It ends Thanksgiving afternoon. We will try to get the grand prize winner poll moving soon after that.



Heckling is allowed and encouraged.

If this is a waste of time and no one is interested I will post these handles in the FS section one at a time until I am kicked off this board.
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  #2  
Old November 21st, 2014, 10:31 PM
D90_982
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I nominate Ron. He's smart and fair which is a hard combo. He also knows a lot about landy's not sure about poetry.

vote evilfij
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  #3  
Old November 21st, 2014, 11:32 PM
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leastonce
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I nominate Jeff Briggs ... he has nothing better to do ...
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Soapy water / KY jelly, etc. is is basically a must. Yes, good idea to remove trim panels - only takes 5 more minutes to do so.
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  #4  
Old November 21st, 2014, 11:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leastonce View Post
I nominate Jeff Briggs ... he has nothing better to do ...
Hey Now...Jeff has plenty to do. Company for the Holiday...finishing the new house...and about 20 other projects...
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  #5  
Old November 22nd, 2014, 01:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill Larson View Post
Hey Now...Jeff has plenty to do. Company for the Holiday...finishing the new house...and about 20 other projects...
he's been all over the country making guest appearances .... he cant be that busy!
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Soapy water / KY jelly, etc. is is basically a must. Yes, good idea to remove trim panels - only takes 5 more minutes to do so.
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  #6  
Old November 22nd, 2014, 01:27 AM
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David Frank
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JSBriggs View Post
Haiku? There once was a man from Nantucket... -Jeff
Ha! One of my favorites! See? You ARE a perfect judge. You DO appreciate good poetry! ;-)

"I once knew a man named Paul...."
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  #7  
Old November 22nd, 2014, 08:31 AM
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I wake reluctant;
Too cold to get out of bed,
But I have to pee



I freaking hate this cold snap we are having!!!
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  #8  
Old November 22nd, 2014, 08:44 AM
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The man said Haiku
You gave him some limericks
Let's stay on topic
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  #9  
Old November 22nd, 2014, 08:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonesy View Post
I wake reluctant; Too cold to get out of bed, But I have to pee I freaking hate this cold snap we are having!!!
our first actual entry!

And I am have the same problem...
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  #10  
Old November 22nd, 2014, 09:32 AM
atlcruiser
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david
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Rubber sheets..... solves the problem
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London
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  #11  
Old November 22nd, 2014, 09:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by atlcruiser View Post
Rubber sheets..... solves the problem
thats just so wrong.....
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  #12  
Old November 22nd, 2014, 09:53 AM
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Aluminum blocks
smelted into flat panels
becomes Defender
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Still looking for that place where I can carry a paddle and get asked what's that.

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  #13  
Old November 22nd, 2014, 10:11 AM
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mark kellgren
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leastonce View Post
I nominate Jeff Briggs ... he has nothing better to do ...
I could not agree more with this statement. I third the nomination. (seriously, he needs a hoppy. He's the most active non-defender owner on this forum I believe, and has no need for handles).


Two beagles barking
Two coveted cups filled with rum
juxtaposed balance



I am starting a beagles for handles campaign. who's with me?

OCD 5-7-5 edit!
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  #14  
Old November 22nd, 2014, 11:14 AM
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David Frank
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Quote:
Originally Posted by roverman2010 View Post
Aluminum blocks smelted into flat panels becomes Defender
That's a perfect 5,7,5! Well done!
No limerick this time. I was just being a goof. Here's mine:

Rolling zinc chassis
My Defender dreams take form
Wife wants a divorce
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  #15  
Old November 22nd, 2014, 11:38 AM
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David Frank
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JSBriggs View Post
There once was a man from Nantucket who's Rover was a rust bucket Happy now? -Jeff
Yeeeaaahh, baby! ;-)
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  #16  
Old November 22nd, 2014, 11:49 AM
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Ren Ching
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I love the sound of
My diesel in the morning
Neighbors don't agree

Many projects here.
All of them outside. I'ts cold.
Fuhgeddaboutit

Sun shines bright today
Reflecting off my windows
Melting the shed doors

Birds sing- so pretty!
Head hurts-wish they'd knock it off.
Will more whiskey help?

Shiny reflection
Over there in the bushes
Three-five valve covers?

Pedro- if you read
Previous haiku of mine
Please do not text me

What is the value
So much time on the forum
Good for schadenfreude
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  #17  
Old November 22nd, 2014, 11:57 AM
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Jason Lavender
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ren Ching View Post
I love the sound of
My diesel in the morning
Neighbors don't agree

Many projects here.
All of them outside. I'ts cold.
Fuhgeddaboutit

Sun shines bright today
Reflecting off my windows
Melting the shed doors

Birds sing- so pretty!
Head hurts-wish they'd knock it off.
Will more whiskey help?

Shiny reflection
Over there in the bushes
Three-five valve covers?

Pedro- if you read
Previous haiku of mine
Please do not text me

What is the value
So much time on the forum
Good for schadenfreude

Winner winner, chicken dinner!
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  #18  
Old November 22nd, 2014, 12:06 PM
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David Frank
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I think he was an overachiever in school! ;-) Well done!
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  #19  
Old November 22nd, 2014, 12:09 PM
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Michael Ullman
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Birmabrite fading
rustling leaves calling out loud
my rig is broken
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  #20  
Old November 22nd, 2014, 12:32 PM
UKmtrsp
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Chip
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Quote:
Originally Posted by atlcruiser View Post
Rubber sheets..... solves the problem
PIG MATS would actually be a little better!
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