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  #1  
Old May 2nd, 2008, 08:41 AM
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I'm Bored at Work - Someone Entertain Me

Hey, sitting here at work with nothing to do. Anyone have any good jokes or entertaining witty stories?

I'll start. Two fish are sitting in their fish tank - what did one say to the other?

You drive, I'll man the turret!
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  #2  
Old May 2nd, 2008, 08:48 AM
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Walk up to your boss and tell him you are bored and have nothing to do.
That will likely liven up your morning.
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  #3  
Old May 2nd, 2008, 09:15 AM
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That will be hard since I am the boss!
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  #4  
Old May 2nd, 2008, 09:16 AM
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Then tell you wife the same...
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  #5  
Old May 2nd, 2008, 09:22 AM
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Damn it, you hit the nail on the head! I just got off the phone with the "boss" and she was so excited that we got both our paychecks today and some other money we were expecting. So I sez to her: "How much are you going to set aside for me? You know my birthday is coming up." And she sez: "Yeah right, you touch a dime of that money and you are a dead man!"
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  #6  
Old May 2nd, 2008, 10:11 AM
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We're swamped here, I'll have an office ready for you at say noon? Oh, we don't validate parking . . .
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  #7  
Old May 2nd, 2008, 10:16 AM
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I am with you Jonathan. Bored to tears. I am in the staffing industry and nobody needs more employees right now. Wonder why??? Oh well, it is sunny and in the 80s here. The 90 is parked outside with my beach chair in the back, and I think I will take off around 2pm today.
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  #8  
Old May 2nd, 2008, 10:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Burke
I am in the staffing industry and nobody needs more employees right now.
I have 4 openings on my team and 15 or so more across the company that we can't fill. HR is working overtime and using contract recruiters to find qualified applicants.
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  #9  
Old May 2nd, 2008, 10:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Abrooks
I have 4 openings on my team and 15 or so more across the company that we can't fill. HR is working overtime and using contract recruiters to find qualified applicants.

I would say give me your number, but that means I could not leave early today
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  #10  
Old May 2nd, 2008, 10:29 AM
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Tony,

We should talk because like the recruiting industry financing high end real estate just isn't happening right now...
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  #11  
Old May 2nd, 2008, 10:35 AM
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Think I'll go for a bike ride after UPS shows up.
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Can't you feel 'em circlin' (closin'in) honey?
Can't you feel 'em swimmin' around?
You got fins to the left, fins to the right,
and you're the only bait in town.
You got fins to the left, fins to the right,
and you're the only girl in town.

Jimmy Buffett


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  #12  
Old May 2nd, 2008, 10:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Maryland 110
Tony,

We should talk because like the recruiting industry financing high end real estate just isn't happening right now...
How are you with Competitve Intelligence and Business Research?
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  #13  
Old May 2nd, 2008, 10:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Abrooks
How are you with Competitve Intelligence and Business Research?
Hmm, we should talk too. I do that for the government, only instead I figuring out how to kill the bad guys. Same kinda stuff.
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  #14  
Old May 2nd, 2008, 10:56 AM
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At a high level, business research. Needs vary by position, some are more focused on short-answer secondary, some are client facing large primary project development positions in Healthcare and FS. On my team the slots can be located in any office (Rosslyn, Manhattan, Minneapolis)
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  #15  
Old May 2nd, 2008, 11:32 AM
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My organization is paying high bonuses to sign up, and a 2k referral bonus to anyone who brings in a recruit. Its a growth industry!

Hell, you send people our way and I'll split the 2k with your 50/50!
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  #16  
Old May 2nd, 2008, 11:46 AM
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Speaking of referral bonuses, I get $7k-$10k for anyone I bring in, so if anyone wants to work for Northrop Grumman, let me know!!! My Rover needs lockers and a lift!
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  #17  
Old May 2nd, 2008, 12:06 PM
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Ill take a rain check...... how about after May 09? Need a mechanical engineer?

What group are you in by the way?
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  #18  
Old May 2nd, 2008, 12:27 PM
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I am in the Intelligence Group (TASC). But I do get $10k for referring engineers!

On a side note, I am so bored at work I broke out my GRE study guide and am re-learning algebra for my GRE exam later this month! Fun stuff...
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  #19  
Old May 2nd, 2008, 12:30 PM
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You'll do better if you take the GRE cold!
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  #20  
Old May 2nd, 2008, 12:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JimC
You'll do better if you take the GRE cold!
I wish that was the case. But I am ten years out of college and everything on the GRE is pretty much foreign to me now.
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