How am I supposed to know if I own a Land Rover?? - Defender Source
Defender Source  

Go Back   Defender Source > Non-Technical Discussions > Misc. Chit-Chat

Join the Defender Source Community Today

Thread Tools
Old May 28th, 2008, 09:49 PM
rgrrvr's Avatar
Status: Offline
DJ Menasco is The Dude
1995 D90
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: PNW
Posts: 455
How am I supposed to know if I own a Land Rover??

By Annette Flottwell, Takeo De Meter and many others...
* When you occasionally find rust flakes in your ears.
* If you keep these strange Imperial-thread bolts in your pocket in case the dashboard falls off.
* If WD40 has a higher priority on the household budget than milk.
* When your husband starts referring to you as "my ex-", although you are still married.
* If your bathtub bears a sign: "Not suitable for engine blocks".
* When you dream of burned Lucas electrics when your wife smokes a cigarette in bed
* If even Essex girls turn you down after they`ve seen your car.
* If 10 lbs of of prime top soil fall on the tarmac when you smack your door shut
* If you store K&N air filter cleaning liquid under the kitchen sink because you need it so often
* When you drive in shorts in the flemish winter to avoid wet jeans.
* If nobody parks next to you on a Saturday supermarket parking lot
* If only the African immigrants greet you in town
* If your kitchen table shows marks of engine blocks.
* When you can't find any clothes without battery acid holes or engine oil stains
* If you wonder why it smells so funny if you throw a cig butt on the floor of a rental car
* If you start every conversation in the vehicle with "one, two, test" to check the intercom
* When even Russians don't believe your truck is only 20 years old
* When there are more tools in the truck than in your house
* If you think it's essential to carry 20 litres of water at all times, even in Belgium
* If the only two shops you know in town are the parts dealer and the tool shop
* When you decide on weekend plans in bed and the alternatives are grease-up or fix the radiator
* If you buy rear mirrors in bulk at the farmer's union shop
* When the GPS in your vehicle has the main purpose to replace the speedo and odometer
* When you are surprised that the M.O.T. mentions the condition of your seats in the report
* If you wonder why the moss in your truck's inner window sills is greener than your lawn
* When you are used to switch off headlights before indicating right because they interfere
* If all your jacket pockets and belt loops are torn by LR door locks
* When you find a gas evaporator between salt and pepper in the kitchen
* When a Russian women observes 'these are not women's hands' and someone adds 'just don't ask her what she has been repairing this time...'
* When your friends steal imperial sockets for you as a wedding present
* When your handbag contains pliers, multimeter, Swisstool, insulation tape, 30 amps fuses, compass, imperial bolts and a torch
* If you only dare to use the coin operated car wash on a dark Sunday night
* If friends don't want you to show up in the afternoon because they got visitors but then they call you at 8 AM on a Sunday morning when they're stuck in the forest.
* when other girls give you a 1 1/8" socket as a present -and they know you love it!
All the above is nothing but our own experience - Annette & Takeo

* You can't decide whether to park on a hill in case your starter fails or on the flat in case your handbrake fails.
* You put your coat on as you get INTO your car.
* You keep degreaser in the shower.
* When you borrow your Mums 1litre Vauxhall Corsa it feels like a sports car.
* You get lent to elderly relatives and their friends to get the compost from the garden centre. Two tonnes at a time.
* Your friends all want to ride in your car if you're going less than three miles. If you're travelling more than three miles, they volunteer to walk.
* Your mates laugh at your car until theirs needs pulling out of a ditch.
Tom C.

"If, whilst driving, you frequently turn down the volume of the stereo .... to check for new noises" J. Galea

-You stop at a petrol station to top up oil and to check the petrol level
-Your washing machine never gets unemployed
-Your favourite books are the parts catalogue and the repair operation manual (Matthias Brinkmann)

- the wife says its me or that thing she takes one look at you and packs -

* I can trust my husband: if he stays out all night long it's because he's stuck in the forest and not because of another women
* When you don't worry when your hubby says he takes out the Landy for half an hour and he doesn't come back all night long
* When you are buying dark nail varnish only to hide away black marks under the finger nails
* When you ask for "Epsom Green" when buying nail varnish
* When your living room looks like a scrap-yard
* When you find landy-bits all over your place (and I mean: ALL over the place!)
* When your dishwasher dies because of engine oil sediments
* When your house-owner asks you to stop putting Rangie-bits all over the cellar (but you don't know where to put them in the flat - see above)

Katharina Bleuer

* Reps in nice shiny motorway cars laugh derisively except when it snows
* your drive has an enviromental health warning
* police officers shake your hand when they issue you a speeding ticket
* people in VW camper vans follow you so they can watch someone else break down
* everyone in the landy dealer knows you by name
* you have bulk discounts at the landy dealer parts counter

* When the men at Bearmach know you better than your wife.
* When your wife say's the men at Bearmach see you more.
* Other motorists laugh at your attempt at a 3 point turn in your Series 3 Land Rover.
John Edward Grindle

__________________'ll feel better in a couple of days.
Reply With Quote
Old May 29th, 2008, 06:58 AM
cgalpin's Avatar
Status: Offline
Charles Galpin
'94 D90 ST, '63 SeriesIIA
Site Team
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: South Riding, VA
Posts: 11,539
LOL. Some of those ring too true!
Reply With Quote

Lower Navigation
Go Back   Defender Source > Non-Technical Discussions > Misc. Chit-Chat

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Nas 110 mpodgorski For Sale - Vehicles 74 January 19th, 2010 01:12 PM
300tdi vacuum pump D90user Defender Technical Discussions 22 April 21st, 2009 03:39 PM
Fog light install SFD90 Defender Technical Discussions 15 January 13th, 2004 10:51 PM

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:30 PM.