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  #1  
Old February 21st, 2013, 09:48 PM
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Jeff Payne
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How about a joke thread?

What do you call a fish with no eyes?











Fssshhh...


Just a humble beginning.
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  #2  
Old February 21st, 2013, 10:35 PM
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What a beautiful story. This should be shared with everyone!


Once upon a time, a guy asked a beautiful girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

The End
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Edward Teach is the Blackbeard, and is a member of the Birmabright Brotherhood.

Still looking for that place where I can carry a paddle and get asked what's that.

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  #3  
Old February 21st, 2013, 10:50 PM
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Q: What goes on pages 4-5 of the Land Rover's users’ manual?
A: The train & bus schedule
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  #4  
Old February 21st, 2013, 11:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by roverman2010 View Post
What a beautiful story. This should be shared with everyone!


Once upon a time, a guy asked a beautiful girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

The End
Funny
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  #5  
Old February 22nd, 2013, 12:34 PM
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To the pit!
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Can't you feel 'em circlin' (closin'in) honey?
Can't you feel 'em swimmin' around?
You got fins to the left, fins to the right,
and you're the only bait in town.
You got fins to the left, fins to the right,
and you're the only girl in town.

Jimmy Buffett


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  #6  
Old February 22nd, 2013, 12:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JSBriggs View Post
A naked blond walks into a bar, with a poodle under one arm, and a 2ft salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. The bartender says "I suppose you wont be needing a drink." The naked lady says



-Jeff

???????
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I am talking purely from an aesthetics standpoint.
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  #7  
Old February 22nd, 2013, 12:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rijosho View Post
???????
A little before your time.


Does Barry Manilow know you raided his wardrobe?
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  #8  
Old February 22nd, 2013, 01:30 PM
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A 3 legged dog walks into a bar and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!"

A horse walks into a bar. The bar tender asks "Why the long face"? The horse says "I don't know, I was born this way."

Bacon and eggs walk into the same bar and the bar tender yells "You two need to leave! We don't serve breakfast here!"
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  #9  
Old February 22nd, 2013, 01:45 PM
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John Crouse
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A man and his wife are out having dinner when an attractive younger woman walks into the restaurant. As she walks by their table she leans over and kisses the man on his forehead. "Who is that?!?" asks the wife.
"That's my mistress" answers the husband.
"Well then I want a divorce"
"If we get divorced it means no more big house, or fancy cars, or European vacations.”
The wife sat and fumed for a few minutes when another couple entered the restaurant.
“Who’s that with Bob?” the wife asked.
“Oh, that’s his mistress”.
“Ours is prettier”
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  #10  
Old February 22nd, 2013, 02:19 PM
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So I guess we are not having a joke thread ...
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Soapy water / KY jelly, etc. is is basically a must. Yes, good idea to remove trim panels - only takes 5 more minutes to do so.
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  #11  
Old February 22nd, 2013, 02:42 PM
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Since this is now a joke...and the comments were removed from the registry thread...here was my reply to the '86 110 situation...

My wife aught to start reading these threads instead of watching daytime soaps. Is this the last '86 110 with a sticker kit from '76? This is hilarious. If you have to have one like this Barry, at least stick to finding the blue one.
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  #12  
Old February 22nd, 2013, 02:47 PM
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Girl to me: What type of sex do nine out of ten people enjoy?

Me: I dunno

Girl: gang rape. te hehehe

Me: Which of the nine guys didn't enjoy having sex with you?
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*not legal advice*
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  #13  
Old February 22nd, 2013, 02:55 PM
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A Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans in a row boat rowing towards California. The Captain gets on the bull horn and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, "We are invading the United States of America!"

The entire crew of the destroyer double over in laughter. When the Captain is finally able to catch his breath, he gets back on the bull horn and asks, "Just the four of you?"

The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last four. The rest are already there!"
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Edward Teach is the Blackbeard, and is a member of the Birmabright Brotherhood.

Still looking for that place where I can carry a paddle and get asked what's that.

JnK Services
FC101 GS FFR
57 LR 88" SXF 858
85 LR90
95 D1 Tdi
05 D3 HSE
97 XK8 BRG FHC For Sale
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  #14  
Old February 22nd, 2013, 02:56 PM
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Glenn Guinto
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Fifty Shades Gray

Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Sam's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Sam's fishing mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do....

Two days later, the three get to the camping site to find Sam sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, dinner cooking on the fire, and having a cold beer.

"Crap Sam, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"

“Well, I've been here since last night. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, ‘Guess who?’"

"I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a sheer nightie and nothing else. She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over."

"Well, she's been reading that book, “50 Shades of Gray.” On the bed, she had handcuffs and ropes!"

"She told me to tie her up and handcuff her to the bed, and then she said..... 'Do whatever you want!'"

So, Here I am!


Feel free to replace fishing with your favorite Rover event... LOL
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  #15  
Old February 22nd, 2013, 06:16 PM
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I've got a few pics.
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I am talking purely from an aesthetics standpoint.
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  #16  
Old February 22nd, 2013, 08:39 PM
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i'm just gonna leave this here..
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  #17  
Old February 23rd, 2013, 08:39 AM
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Sorry to our jewish members, but it's a good one.

"A waitress walks up to two old Jewish ladies having lunch and asks,
Is anything OK here ladies?"

------ Follow up post added February 23rd, 2013 08:40 AM ------

Two Irish men walk out of a bar, It could happen.
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  #18  
Old February 23rd, 2013, 08:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Campbell View Post
Sorry to our jewish members, but it's a good one.

"A waitress walks up to two old Jewish ladies having lunch and asks,
Is anything OK here ladies?"
Seriously???? My grandfather died in a concentration camp!!!!!!
























He fell out of a guard tower.....
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  #19  
Old February 23rd, 2013, 09:05 AM
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Your Mom...
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Semper Fi!
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  #20  
Old February 23rd, 2013, 09:43 AM
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For our military brethren:

God looks down on a remote swamp somewhere in Southeast Asia and sees four Zodiacs full of Rangers moving towards their objective, chanting "Rangers Lead The Way!".

"Man, those Rangers are so high speed!" he thought to himself. Then God wondered what would happen if he took portions of their brain. So he took a quarter lobe from each.

They continued to chant "Rangers Lead The Way!"

So God took an entire half. Yet the Rangers continued to chant "Rangers Lead The Way!"

So God decided to take the the entire brain from each Ranger. Without missing a beat, they all started singing "From the Halls of Montezuma......"
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